Cough Syrup
by SnixxNYC
Summary: Santana's strunggeling with everything and she doesn't handle it very well. She tries to commit suicide but luckily can be saved. How does she pick up her life again and want does this mean to her relationship with Brittany? Will did go their seperate ways or will they become stronger...


**This is a Brittana story, mainly focused on Santana. It's about how Santana copes with being gay but she doesn't handle it very well. Set between season 2 and 3 with some flashbacks in season 2. **

**Warning! Talk of atempting suicide**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

**Chapter 1: Escape**

_I have to escape. Escape from everything and everyone. I'm nothing, nothing but worthless._

**Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control**

Santana just got home when she broke down. She was now sitting on her bathroom floor against the wall. With her legs pulled up and her arms wrapped around them, she began to cry hysterically.

**These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh  
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum  
**

After what felt like hours, Santana got the strength to pull herself up and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was all puffy from crying. Her eyes were red and there were dark circles around them from exhaustion. She really was exhausted. Exhausted from all the crying, pretending and hurting from the past weeks.

**If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
**

Santana had made a choice. She left her bathroom and went to her desk to pull out some paper and a pen. She wrote everything down what she had on her mind. Everything she couldn't say out loud because she was too scared. After writing a couples pages, she grabbed an envelope and wrote Brittany's name on it, hoping she would understand. She put the envelope on her desk, left her room and grabbed her car keys from the kitchen table.

**To some fortune that I should have found by now  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down**

While she was driving in her car, Santana's thoughts were silent at that moment. She didn't think of anything. She just drove her car, windows down so fresh air could circle in the car and the radio on. After driving for about fifteen minutes, she arrived at her destination. What Santana didn't know was that Brittany arrived shortly after she left. She stormed through the front door yelling Santana's name to find her. Brittany looked everywhere in the house and when she got into her girlfriend's room, her eyes landed on a white envelope that had her name on it, along with dried stains that where once Santana's tears.

**Life's too short to even care at all oh  
**

Santana stepped out of the car and walked slowly but with determination to the bridge up ahead. It was a bit out of town so no one was around at this hour. She always came to this place to think about things and to just be herself without being judged. Never did she bring someone here. Brittany knew about it but Santana preferred to keep this magical place to herself.

**I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue  
These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart  
**

Brittany couldn't believe what she was reading. How could she be so blind and not notice how Santana felt. How lost she must felt. She had to find her. And she knew there was one place where the Latina would be.

**A dark world aches for a splash of the sun oh oh  
**

The sun was about to set in the sky in front of her. Santana closed her eyes, feeling the sun streaming on her face with a nice warmth. She breathed deeply a couple times before opening her eyes again. The dark haired girl was rather calm for what she was about to do. Thoughts came running through her mind again.

**If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now  
**

Thoughts of how disappointed her father was of her being gay. Her mother who didn't know how to act. The rejection of her abuela. The rejection of Brittany last year. The horrible names that she was called at by some students in the Mc. Kinnely hallways. The way she let Brittany down by trying to hide who she was. The blonde meant everything. _If I'm gone, she won't be hurt or disappointed again. Then, she can be happy. She deserves someone who's proud and who can take care of her. What I'm going to do is good for her. She won't be bothered by me anymore.  
_

**And so I run now to the things they said could restore me  
Restore life the way it should be  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down  
**

With that last thought, she gets up and climbs over the reeling. Standing with her back against it, she holds on tight to the reeling. She looks down for a moment before closing her eyes once more. The last strays of sunlight cover her face and lifts her head into the sky.

**Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control  
**

Brittany's racing her car to where she knows Santana would be. She tried calling her several times, but the dark haired girl doesn't answer. She already called her own parents and Quinn, their best friend. The blonde didn't had the courage to call Santana's parents. Thinking about that, made her speed up more. She just hoped she wasn't too late.

**If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now**

Slowly she released the reeling. Letting her arms fall down, she takes in one last breath. Her eyes are still closed and silent tears are rolling down her cheeks. Before taking one step forward, she hears someone calling her name. She doesn't open her eyes, thinking her mind is tricking her with that voice. Some last words escape her lips "I love you Brittany". And then, Santana just lets go..

**So I run now to the things they said could restore me  
Restore life the way it should be  
**

In the few seconds Santana was flying through the air, she felt free. Liberated and relieved. The nightmare that she called her life, was now over. Once she hit the ground, she didn't feel anything.

**I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down**

When Brittany arrives at the bridge, she sees Santana's car parked at the side. She start calling her name and looking around, but she can't find her girlfriend anywhere. Until she sees the girl standing in front of the reeling. She has her eyes closed and looks so peaceful. For a moment, Brittany thinks this is all a bad dream and that soon she will be waking up with the beautiful Latina in her arms. But when she sees Santana stepping forward, her worst nightmare has become real. "Santana.."

**One more spoon of cough syrup now**

One hour later, Brittany is watching how paramedics are taking away her wounded girlfriend. The blonde is wrapped up in Quinn's arms, who arrived shortly after the ambulance and Brittany's parents arrived. Brittany is about to fall apart and cries uncontrollably. Quinn is just holding her, also crying and gently rubs the blonde's back, not really knowing what to say. They just hold each other for a couple of moments before Quinn pulls the blonde with her. "Come on Britt, I'll drive you to the hospital." Brittany just nods and follows Quinn's lead.

**One more spoon of cough syrup now**

* * *

**So my first story...let me know what you think ;)**


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